Picking Gathoni after being discharged

So a few weeks ago we accompanied 2 of our core members to their regular clinics at North Kinangop Catholic hospital about 2hrs drive from Nyahururu where our community is situated. One of them who is not very fond of Hospitals, maybe because of the experiences she has had is a good friend of mine. Even convincing her to go for these clinics is always a struggle.

We got to the hospital and after her vitals were taken her Oxygen levels and her frequent coughs were a point of concern to the doctor, we were asked to undertake some tests ie X-ray, CT scan and some blood tests.

We started with the CT scan and as we got to the CT scan room my friend started taking steps back, she was not ready to go inside that strange machine, I tried assuring her that the machine was just a big camera and it was not going to harm her but she wasn’t convinced. Her eyes were getting watery, seeing the struggle the technicians were kind enough to give us some time to try and come her down, so they left and I continued with my persuasion, I laid in the machine just to show her  that the machine was harmless s and I assured her that I was going to be with her through the whole process, for a moment there  she seemed convinced  and so we called the technicians, but the moment she saw the two guys in lab coats everything went to south, Our only option was to hold her forcefully in the machine, I never knew my friend was that strong, it took the effort of 3 assistants to hold her for the CT scan to be taken. The first test was over now it was time for the blood tests and She happen to have a phobia for needles, I sure knew we were going to struggle convincing her to accept to be drawn blood, so I tried explaining the importance of the process but it wasn’t making sense to her, I was going to allow them to inflict pain to her and that didn’t seat well with her, I tried charming her to the idea but it didn’t work, our last option was to use force again, so we held her firmly as she screamed through the process. I was sure she hated me for that. Moving out of the Lab people were really staring at us, her screams caught their attention.

At that moment we were no longer friends, I had betrayed her trust. We went for lunch, spent our lunch on bad terms, after lunch some of the results were ready, the Doc informed us that some of the results that came out showed that she’s not okay so she’ll have to be admitted in the hospital for treatment. This are not news that she’d welcome positively, it was not going to be easy to tell her that we were going to go home without her, that she had to remain in the hospital for an unknown period of time for further treatment, To her the Doc didn’t know what he was talking about, immediately we left the doctor’s room to follow up on the admission she started walking to where our van was parked, she was not going to remain in the hospital, it took the effort of kind hospital staff to trick her into going to the wards, the assistants were no longer trustworthy to her, I knew she loves children, so the new story was “we are going to the wards to see a new born baby”  and so we entered this room where we were waiting for the baby to be brought to us, slowly we left to check on the nurses who were taking too long to bring the baby and we left my friend with only one assistant who was to accompany her through her admission.

On our way back to Nyahururu all we could talk about was how bad she would feel once she realizes that there was no baby and how guilty we felt for tricking her into admission, in only one day I had betrayed my friend 3 times, I was sure she was very mad at me, I truly felt my relationship with her was scared, that evening I called the assistant just to know how they were faring and yes I was not wrong, my friend was really mad at me.

The next morning I received a call from the assistant and when I received she told me, your friend wants to talk to you, I was surprised we talked and all she could say was “I hope you are coming to pick me, I am coming back home today” I explained that we needed the permission of the doctor first. One thing that surprised me is she didn’t even seem mad at me for what I had done the previous day.

She stayed in the hospital for one week and through the week we could contact each other at least thrice a day from voice calls to video calls like nothing had happened, our friendship was still intact and after the week it was finally the time to go and pick her from the hospital I was really excited, she was too, all she could do was smile. Gathoni was really happy that she was going home.

As we were riding back home all I could think about is how opposite I am from Gathoni, how much I dwell in the past, how much I look at how other people have wronged me, how much I hold on to the pain others have caused me, how much I struggle to forgive others and how much I allow the pain of the past to shade the joy of today.

I found myself saying I want to be more like Gathoni, I want to be as forgiving as she is, I want to live in the moment as she does and I want to genuinely love as she does. This is one the life lessons that I consistently get from living and working with my friend with intellectual disability.